Disorder in the Courts

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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

- Disorder in the Courts [UTM Sisterz]

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
_______________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an exampl! e of something that youu’ve forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old! , how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Real Programmers Don’t Use Pascal

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Back in the good old days — the Golden Era of computers, it was easy to separate the men from the boys (sometimes called “Real Men” and “Quiche Eaters” in the literature). During this period, the Real Men were the ones that understood computer programming, and the Quiche Eaters were the ones that didn’t. A real computer programmer said things like “DO 10 I=1,10″ and “ABEND” (they actually talked in capital letters, you understand), and the rest of the world said things like “computers are too complicated for me” and “I can’t relate to computers — they’re so impersonal”. (A previous work [1] points out that Real Men don’t “relate” to anything, and aren’t afraid of being impersonal.)

- “Real Programmers Don’t Use PASCAL” by Leo Moll

Just found the article amusing. Life in short: New job. 9 to 6 and commute from downtown so… in short life is pretty much all work these days or well other odds and ends. I even woke up early on both Saturday and Sunday so I could finally get my day to day tasks done. eekkkkkkkkk.

DNRC Newsletter 58.0: Becoming a bit of a money making item instead of the hilarious piece of writing it used to be. tsk tsk.

Eid Tour 2004

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Eid Tour 2004 [Sana T.]

Artists: ALI ZAFAR SHOW,FAKHRE ALAM,BASIT SUBHANI,AAVISH,ALI-K
Only 10 days left for the Toronto show. Do you have your tickets as yet??? We only have limited seats, so buy your tickets ASAP!

Pricing: $30, $40, $50 (includes backstage pass)

Toronto - Ticket Location

Karachi Bazaar 2000 (Hurontario & Dundas) Behind Mian Super Market!
NANDO’s (Mavis & Britannia) 905.567.7050
Popeyes Chicken (Hurontario & Steeles) 905.454.9940
416.890.9351 Paan-o-Rama (Gerrard St.) Across Lahore Tikka House!
Teletime Electronics (Hwy 27 & Rexdale Ave) 416.897.4784
New Karachi Bazaar (Ellsemere & Pharmacy) 416.510.8820
U of T PSA and UTM PSA

http://www.Aagaz4Life.org

THHGTTG

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A Softer World: Nov. 3rd 2004

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The Movie [Abbas H.]

America says sorry [Silal S.]

MSA Takes you to the movies

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The UTM MSA, in conjunction with the St George MSA, will inshaAllah be organizing a Night at the Movies, to see Muhammad [PBUH] – The Last Prophet on Tuesday, November 16th. St George MSA has acquired the tickets at a 40% discount, so tickets are ONLY $10!!!! Although the movie is only playing in select theatres, UTM students can be transported downtown [and back] via the FREE inter-campus shuttle!!

Details:
Date: Tuesday, Nov. 16th
Time: 7pm show
Price: $10
Venue: Bloor Cinema; just off of Bathurst Subway – just a few steps from the Medical Sciences Building.

For more information, please contact Br. Farooq at vp@uoftmsa.com

keep looking »